Discipline (part 1)

We had a wonderful morning yesterday and got to hear all about the wonderful world of DISCIPLINE from our very own Ruthie Thune!! I love her charismatic style and the way she completely engages us while she's speaking with all of the great information and stories to go along and help us get it!!

The 3 parts of discipline:
1. Instruction: Happens in many different ways - modeling being the most common. Here are a few questions to ask yourself and the way you look as a model in front of your children: "Do I have a relationship with God and do my children see it?" "Do I model the behavior I want my children to have? (loving, patient, kind, etc)" "Am I acting in a loving way toward my spouse, family and friends?" And then there is the formal instruction. The time we spend with our children physically teaching them something. This could be in Sunday School, Summer Spectacular, family devotion time at home, during rides in the car, etc.
2. Training: Guided practice (along the same lines of what Cynthia Moses shared with us last week).... The time you work with your children teaching and training them in different areas. You can't expect your child to know things you haven't taught them.
3. Correction: Taking action to ensure the child follows the training and direction that's been given. Key Question: Have I made myself clear?

Ruthie went on to discuss the aspects of Direct, Assertive Communication, otherwise known as "Leadership Speech." Being a leader is a calling and God has called you to be the parent of your child. Leadership speech is clear, concise and commanding.

• 55% of our communication is nonverbal! A few things to take notice of while communicating: Eye Contact - your child needs to be looking into your eyes when making leadership speeches, Body Posture - lean towards your child, Bodily Distance - hold/touch your child softly and with a loving touch, Facial Expression - Relaxed, has eye contact but is serious.
  
• 38% of our communication is our tone of voice! We need to be firm but not harsh. The tone comes out with much more pronunciation. It should be evident that we expect them to obey us the FIRST time.
  
• Only 7% of our communication are the actual words! Pretty astonishing!! Make a command, don't state wishes or desires. Describe in detail what you want. Don't beg, plead or count. Make statements, don't use rhetorical questions. Make your request once and expect change. State the action you will take if behavior doesn't change and then follow through. Don't make empty threats, take the actions. Don't give choices or consequences you don't really mean - Be realistic. Don't argue or reason when trying to get your child to do something - Good reasons come in the instruction and training phases.
  

Ruthie ended her talk with a very funny story that had me laughing so hard my eyes were watering like crazy! It came from "Parenting by the Book" by John Rosemond and I think we all related to some extent with what the story was saying, good or bad.

The time flew by as usual but I can't wait for her to talk to us again next week and continue on to "Part 2!"